Exercise caution, especially with things labeled “fresh” pizza
I dunno, I’m most worried about “stairs”
don’t date anyone who doesn’t want to hear your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, read your favorite book
A 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco recently set up shop outside a marijuana clinic and sold 117 boxes of Girl Scout cookies within two hours. The cookies were such a big hit, she’s been invited back.
[boss ass bitch plays in the distance]
i can finally lock my photo app so that no one but me can enjoy my hundreds of pictures of my cats
how long will it burn if it isn’t an emergency???????
"Once upon a time, there was an enchanted forest filled with all the classic characters we know…or think we know.”
You know you read too much when you can spot a plot twist long before it even happens.
That gif is so accurate.
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
Guys I’m like 600% sure Peter Capaldi is just a grumpy owl.
You could say that he’s…Doctor Hoo.